Remembering the good
It's been a little while, hasn't it?
I only have about 25 minutes left of my lunch break, and yet there is so much to say. To say that all has been well these past few weeks is not entirely true. While there have been many moments of good and well, there have been plenty more of frustration, of uncertainty, and those I care about dealing with their own frustration, uncertainty, and hurt.
I have, after many phone calls and emails and nearly not getting paid for more than a month, finally completed the transition from VISTA to employee. It's a bit disconcerting, this negative stain shed on a place that I once knew as my home, and still do, to a degree. But it has been sorted out, and I am looking forward to continuing my work here at Grow Appalachia.
People I love and care about are going through things that, quite frankly, I wouldn't wish on anybody. Having to make decisions that I can't even imagine. Facing the prospect of starting over. Not knowing the next step. Waiting. Looking for answers. It's a struggle for me who, as an empathetic and intuitive person, often times can't find the words to say. But I've learned a lot over the past year or so just in the power of presence, that sometimes it isn't about finding the "right" words, but just being there to say, without actually using any words at all, "Hey, I'm here for you." Also, listening. Less talking, more listening, y'all!
But then there's the good. There's this relative constant (I use the term "relative" because we're restricted by distance and the confines of a textbook working week), but nonetheless a constant; call it a "relationship", a "thing", I'm still not sure, and I'm ok with that. If you've been keeping up with this blog, I've mentioned it more than once. This whatever-you-want-to-call-it that's now spanned almost three months (geez Louise!!) has done more than just give me something to look forward to on a Saturday or Sunday evening, or an entire weekend, if we're exceptionally lucky. I'm happy, truly happy, for the first time in a while. I've had the utmost privilege of sharing this tiny, fleeting part of my life with someone. We don't talk every day, but we don't have to. There's still a lot up in the air in terms of a future, but right now, we, without verbalizing it, I think, have chosen to just make the best of the time we do have, whether it's a few more weeks or not. The rougher parts of this month have been lessened, because when I've shared that I've had a rough week, whenever we see each other face-to-face, he always asks how things are. It's just the thought that knowing that someone is thinking of you, that gives you the strength to fight whatever it is you may be fighting.
And then, this weekend, Kelly and I get to ESCAPE!! No, not what you're thinking. In five days, yes, count it, FIVE days, one of our best friends is getting married, and we were asked last August (yes, as in August of 2014) if we would stand up with her as bridesmaids! So needless to say, this has been a LONG time coming, and we are beyond, beyond, beyond excited!! She is one of our oldest friends; we've known her since our freshman year of high school, her sophomore year. We went to high school together, and fate somehow saw it fit to see us together at Berea College too! She spent a couple of years in Japan and kicked butt as an English teacher. We have not seen her in four years, so this is also a reunion a long time coming as well! In addition, our friend serving as her maid of honor was her roommate at Berea, and we ALSO haven't seen her in four years! So any of you in the Dayton Ohio area this weekend better watch out, 'cause it's going to be par-tay central! :)
In case you didn't get the memo, life is tough. It's frustrating. It's unfair. It's full of crappiness and moments that we wish we could forget. But it's not always like that. At least for me, it's full of moments and memories, often times the little and seemingly insignificant ones, that make me smile and remember the good. Choose what you'll remember.
I only have about 25 minutes left of my lunch break, and yet there is so much to say. To say that all has been well these past few weeks is not entirely true. While there have been many moments of good and well, there have been plenty more of frustration, of uncertainty, and those I care about dealing with their own frustration, uncertainty, and hurt.
I have, after many phone calls and emails and nearly not getting paid for more than a month, finally completed the transition from VISTA to employee. It's a bit disconcerting, this negative stain shed on a place that I once knew as my home, and still do, to a degree. But it has been sorted out, and I am looking forward to continuing my work here at Grow Appalachia.
People I love and care about are going through things that, quite frankly, I wouldn't wish on anybody. Having to make decisions that I can't even imagine. Facing the prospect of starting over. Not knowing the next step. Waiting. Looking for answers. It's a struggle for me who, as an empathetic and intuitive person, often times can't find the words to say. But I've learned a lot over the past year or so just in the power of presence, that sometimes it isn't about finding the "right" words, but just being there to say, without actually using any words at all, "Hey, I'm here for you." Also, listening. Less talking, more listening, y'all!
But then there's the good. There's this relative constant (I use the term "relative" because we're restricted by distance and the confines of a textbook working week), but nonetheless a constant; call it a "relationship", a "thing", I'm still not sure, and I'm ok with that. If you've been keeping up with this blog, I've mentioned it more than once. This whatever-you-want-to-call-it that's now spanned almost three months (geez Louise!!) has done more than just give me something to look forward to on a Saturday or Sunday evening, or an entire weekend, if we're exceptionally lucky. I'm happy, truly happy, for the first time in a while. I've had the utmost privilege of sharing this tiny, fleeting part of my life with someone. We don't talk every day, but we don't have to. There's still a lot up in the air in terms of a future, but right now, we, without verbalizing it, I think, have chosen to just make the best of the time we do have, whether it's a few more weeks or not. The rougher parts of this month have been lessened, because when I've shared that I've had a rough week, whenever we see each other face-to-face, he always asks how things are. It's just the thought that knowing that someone is thinking of you, that gives you the strength to fight whatever it is you may be fighting.
And then, this weekend, Kelly and I get to ESCAPE!! No, not what you're thinking. In five days, yes, count it, FIVE days, one of our best friends is getting married, and we were asked last August (yes, as in August of 2014) if we would stand up with her as bridesmaids! So needless to say, this has been a LONG time coming, and we are beyond, beyond, beyond excited!! She is one of our oldest friends; we've known her since our freshman year of high school, her sophomore year. We went to high school together, and fate somehow saw it fit to see us together at Berea College too! She spent a couple of years in Japan and kicked butt as an English teacher. We have not seen her in four years, so this is also a reunion a long time coming as well! In addition, our friend serving as her maid of honor was her roommate at Berea, and we ALSO haven't seen her in four years! So any of you in the Dayton Ohio area this weekend better watch out, 'cause it's going to be par-tay central! :)
In case you didn't get the memo, life is tough. It's frustrating. It's unfair. It's full of crappiness and moments that we wish we could forget. But it's not always like that. At least for me, it's full of moments and memories, often times the little and seemingly insignificant ones, that make me smile and remember the good. Choose what you'll remember.
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