Being your best

The other day at work, I was leaving the director’s office, having just (to my own surprise) volunteered myself in aiding with a construction-related project.  Ok, it’s not that extreme…it was simply helping put a bookshelf together.  Don’t sign me up for building a house anytime soon.  Anyway, as I was leaving I jokingly suggested starting the project at a later time; I commented that I am not my best at 8am, first thing in the morning.  To which he replied, “Holly, you’re always at your best.” While I was very warmed and appreciative by his remark, and still am, I sometimes wish that was the case. I think everyone reading can relate, so please allow me to explain:

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a motivated person. I pride myself in hard work, as my parents excellently taught me, and I generally don’t put things off until the last minute. In fact, for the duration of my college years, I was a “get stuff done a week ahead of time” person. My rationale was, hey, college is already stressful enough, and Berea especially is its own level of stressful, so why further complicate things? Simple enough, right? I still hold to this “mantra” as I continue on in my professional life, further coupled with an amazingly supportive team of co-workers who consistently reinforce me with positive feedback, which makes me want to perform better (I may have touched on this a time or two…seriously, it makes a world of difference!) Combine all of this with the fact that I am a relentless optimist.  To me, the glass is always half-full. I try [key word here is try] not to get bogged down by drama or other stupid little things, and I intentionally do my best to find the joy in all areas of my life.  Blame it on Jesus, my general observations of people, whatever. But getting back to my original statement, and this is a genuine, 100%, God’s-honest-truth confession: I am NOT always at my best.

Sometimes, I get frustrated. When numbers in Excel don’t add up, even after I’ve run them more than once.  When I have to call recycling for the twentieth time to remind them to pick ours up. When I have to troubleshoot the same website issues over. And over. And over again.  When I have to email sites reminding them their reports are late….again. When I have to fix one little thing in my time and effort report. When I leave work right on time and it still takes me 30 minutes to get home.

Sometimes, I get discouraged. When the grant we worked so hard on gets rejected. When a promising first-year partner site doesn’t submit a proposal for next year. When people I care about are going through valleys (sometimes deep valleys), seeking the next step, or trying to make their “next step” work. When I realize that I don’t get to see my family and friends as often as I would like…even though moving to Kentucky was the choice that I made. And still other times, I wake up in the morning and want nothing more than to just go back to bed for a couple more hours.  Sometimes, I just want to scream “Hello? Please let me know how you are”, or “God, what in the WORLD is going on?” Sometimes, I just want to scream. Sometimes, I ask myself “Does any of what I’m doing, really make a difference in the grand scheme of things?”

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that even though most of the time I do feel I’m at my best, sometimes, I’m just not.  And that’s ok. Because if we’re really honest with ourselves, I’m willing to bet that’s the case with probably everyone.  We’re human.  We can’t be 100% awesome at every single thing 100% of the time. I used to get so irritated with my friends who completely tortured themselves if they got anything less than an A. If you ignore everything else I’ve just written, please do not ignore this: All anyone will ever ask of you is your best.  And, more importantly, surround yourself with people who both bring out the best in you and want the best for you! I've learned that, just in the last couple of months, that I have plenty of those! :) 

Remember: All anyone will ever ask of you is your best. The rest (attitude, perspective, habits, change if you need to) is up to you!