Glory in the highest, glory in the lowest (And guilt)
I'm stuck inside during my lunch break again. Yep, winter is here. I'm an April baby, so I'm definitely ready for spring to get here.
As time would have it, we're approaching mid-February already and almost another month has gone without writing. I think from now on I'm just going to stop chastising myself, because I know this space exists. I know this space is here for me to pour out my thoughts and stories to anyone who wishes to read them. And I don't do this, this writing endeavor, to gain followers, to get attention, to make money, or to sell something. It's just me, for me, and here, I release and share.
I'm in the midst of an interesting season of life right now: having recently reconnected with old friends in Berea, on the cusp of late-twenties, on the cusp of the halfway point of the most fulfilling job of my working career so far, recently surpassed six months of living in a new city (Yeah...THAT was a surprise?!), and then him, Justin, who's turned out to be the best surprise of 2016 so far. All of that splashing relational-shippy stuff all over Facebook drives me absolutely absolutely insane, but yeah...it's going well and I thank God every day for him, for this. And then there's those I deeply care about who, quite frankly, are just repeatedly getting kicked in the teeth by life, those I deeply care about who are facing circumstances that I can't even begin to imagine.
And, confession: Sometimes, I feel guilty.
Because, when I really sit down and think about my life right now, it's pretty damn good. I'd be foolish to not acknowledge that. So with my life being as wonderful as it is right now, I think of those in my circles who are struggling. I mean, really struggling. I mean, struggling like just-trying-to-make-it-one-day-at-a-time struggling, struggling like I-literally-cannot-do-this-anymore struggling, struggling like God-WHAT-is-happening struggling...and I feel guilty. How can things be going so well for me, when some of my friends are going through hell every day?
It sounds stupid. I know it does. And this is definitely not an everyday thing. But it's there. Because I hurt. When someone I care about hurts, I hurt too. When someone I care about rejoices, I rejoice too. It's more than Biblical...I know that that type of relating with people can only come from God. He has truly opened my eyes over the past year and a half or so to "break our hearts for what breaks Yours." Because I know what it's like to wish someone else's life was my own. I know what it's like to point to someone and say "Them. Now there is someone who's got it all together."
I'm trying so hard to remind myself at just how dangerous that way of thinking is! Comparison is a thief of joy, and the truth is that we're all a bunch of messed up people. We're all broken and beat up with scars and bruises living in a messed up world. It's when I come to that realization that I try so desperately to cling to Jesus. I'm not there yet, I realize this. But followers of Christ are always works in progress. I'm thankful for that.
For those of you in my circles who are struggling: I do hurt for you. I truly wish sometimes that I could just wave a magic wand and make everything ok again. But you and I both know that life doesn't work that way. Please know that I am holding you in my heart, that I am praying for your situation, and that I love you. Period.
There's a song that's been ministering to me recently, "Lord, Remind Me." He knows, y'all. He knows what it's like to struggle, like, really struggle. I've learned in spite of the ups and downs that life throws at us, that there's sometimes nothing else I can do but praise, in the highest and the lowest. I've surrounded myself with positive, encouraging and loving people as well, and if that's not actual "heaven on earth", then I'm not sure what is. This year, I've also taken each day to intentionally mention something I'm thankful for. If you're at the lowest of lows, start there. Start small. Remember He's there, and that He can take it.
"Tell me how He loves
Tell me how He wants me
Tell me the story like I've never heard before
And I'll sing like the angels
Sing with my whole heart
Sing to Him who's worth a thousand suns and more
Glory in the highest
Glory in the lowest
Glory that shines when nothing seems to shine at all"
As time would have it, we're approaching mid-February already and almost another month has gone without writing. I think from now on I'm just going to stop chastising myself, because I know this space exists. I know this space is here for me to pour out my thoughts and stories to anyone who wishes to read them. And I don't do this, this writing endeavor, to gain followers, to get attention, to make money, or to sell something. It's just me, for me, and here, I release and share.
I'm in the midst of an interesting season of life right now: having recently reconnected with old friends in Berea, on the cusp of late-twenties, on the cusp of the halfway point of the most fulfilling job of my working career so far, recently surpassed six months of living in a new city (Yeah...THAT was a surprise?!), and then him, Justin, who's turned out to be the best surprise of 2016 so far. All of that splashing relational-shippy stuff all over Facebook drives me absolutely absolutely insane, but yeah...it's going well and I thank God every day for him, for this. And then there's those I deeply care about who, quite frankly, are just repeatedly getting kicked in the teeth by life, those I deeply care about who are facing circumstances that I can't even begin to imagine.
And, confession: Sometimes, I feel guilty.
Because, when I really sit down and think about my life right now, it's pretty damn good. I'd be foolish to not acknowledge that. So with my life being as wonderful as it is right now, I think of those in my circles who are struggling. I mean, really struggling. I mean, struggling like just-trying-to-make-it-one-day-at-a-time struggling, struggling like I-literally-cannot-do-this-anymore struggling, struggling like God-WHAT-is-happening struggling...and I feel guilty. How can things be going so well for me, when some of my friends are going through hell every day?
It sounds stupid. I know it does. And this is definitely not an everyday thing. But it's there. Because I hurt. When someone I care about hurts, I hurt too. When someone I care about rejoices, I rejoice too. It's more than Biblical...I know that that type of relating with people can only come from God. He has truly opened my eyes over the past year and a half or so to "break our hearts for what breaks Yours." Because I know what it's like to wish someone else's life was my own. I know what it's like to point to someone and say "Them. Now there is someone who's got it all together."
I'm trying so hard to remind myself at just how dangerous that way of thinking is! Comparison is a thief of joy, and the truth is that we're all a bunch of messed up people. We're all broken and beat up with scars and bruises living in a messed up world. It's when I come to that realization that I try so desperately to cling to Jesus. I'm not there yet, I realize this. But followers of Christ are always works in progress. I'm thankful for that.
For those of you in my circles who are struggling: I do hurt for you. I truly wish sometimes that I could just wave a magic wand and make everything ok again. But you and I both know that life doesn't work that way. Please know that I am holding you in my heart, that I am praying for your situation, and that I love you. Period.
There's a song that's been ministering to me recently, "Lord, Remind Me." He knows, y'all. He knows what it's like to struggle, like, really struggle. I've learned in spite of the ups and downs that life throws at us, that there's sometimes nothing else I can do but praise, in the highest and the lowest. I've surrounded myself with positive, encouraging and loving people as well, and if that's not actual "heaven on earth", then I'm not sure what is. This year, I've also taken each day to intentionally mention something I'm thankful for. If you're at the lowest of lows, start there. Start small. Remember He's there, and that He can take it.
"Tell me how He loves
Tell me how He wants me
Tell me the story like I've never heard before
And I'll sing like the angels
Sing with my whole heart
Sing to Him who's worth a thousand suns and more
Glory in the highest
Glory in the lowest
Glory that shines when nothing seems to shine at all"
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