Thoughts On Singleness (from a mini Twitter "rant")
I guess it was Sunday or Monday night when I heard that Taylor Swift had broken up with Calvin Harris...and was spotted with Tom Hiddleston not long after.
The first thing out of my mouth was "Didn't she just break up with someone?"
I know. Definitely not the most Christ-like thing to say. I apologize.
But then it got me to thinking, how many folks I know, or have known, like that. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who don't stay single for long. The ones who seem to have their next relationship lined up as soon as another one ends. The "serial daters" as I call them. All of those thoughts swirling around in my head turned into a mini Twitter "rant", and I'll share it below:
Dear TSwift, I don't got any beefs with you and who you date, or any beefs for that matter. But it's ok to be single. That goes for all ladies- Having a man in your life should not "complete" you. Find worth in yourself. Being single is not scary, or a problem to be fixed. "But Holly, you're not single now!" I know. But I was for most of my life. And I learned a lot about myself. I think it's made me a better partner. Because my value and my worth as a woman has come from myself, from the things and people I already have in my life, pre-boyfriend. And I'm encouraged to hold on to those things, as I encourage him as well.
And that's where it ended. But I'll add on now:
Your identity should not be found in your partner. For me, my identity is found in Christ! Yes, I believe God has brought J and I together, and it is scriptural that, eventually, "two will become one". I would be honored to share my life with him, if that is where the Lord takes us. I would REALLY encourage that if you've just broken up with someone, take some time to evaluate yourself, because if you have insecurities or doubts as a single person, then guess what? You're going to have those same insecurities and doubts in a relationship too.
I said above that I think me being single for the majority of my life has made me a better partner. Yes, I love J and I love spending time with him. But I don't need him to be the sole provider of my joy, my completion, etc. I want to be able to share that joy and completeness that comes from GOD...with him! :) Does that make sense? Having said all of that, I don't claim to be perfect in this. I'm still learning a lot of this as I go. As Christians we tend to make idols out of a lot of things and people and I'm consistently praying that as we go along this journey that we keep Him at the center, that we look to Him for guidance. God does, in fact, have a plan. Most of the time it never aligns with the plans we have for ourselves, but when His plan finally comes to fruition...it all makes sense! Trust Him. And trust yourself too.
The first thing out of my mouth was "Didn't she just break up with someone?"
I know. Definitely not the most Christ-like thing to say. I apologize.
But then it got me to thinking, how many folks I know, or have known, like that. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones who don't stay single for long. The ones who seem to have their next relationship lined up as soon as another one ends. The "serial daters" as I call them. All of those thoughts swirling around in my head turned into a mini Twitter "rant", and I'll share it below:
Dear TSwift, I don't got any beefs with you and who you date, or any beefs for that matter. But it's ok to be single. That goes for all ladies- Having a man in your life should not "complete" you. Find worth in yourself. Being single is not scary, or a problem to be fixed. "But Holly, you're not single now!" I know. But I was for most of my life. And I learned a lot about myself. I think it's made me a better partner. Because my value and my worth as a woman has come from myself, from the things and people I already have in my life, pre-boyfriend. And I'm encouraged to hold on to those things, as I encourage him as well.
And that's where it ended. But I'll add on now:
Your identity should not be found in your partner. For me, my identity is found in Christ! Yes, I believe God has brought J and I together, and it is scriptural that, eventually, "two will become one". I would be honored to share my life with him, if that is where the Lord takes us. I would REALLY encourage that if you've just broken up with someone, take some time to evaluate yourself, because if you have insecurities or doubts as a single person, then guess what? You're going to have those same insecurities and doubts in a relationship too.
I said above that I think me being single for the majority of my life has made me a better partner. Yes, I love J and I love spending time with him. But I don't need him to be the sole provider of my joy, my completion, etc. I want to be able to share that joy and completeness that comes from GOD...with him! :) Does that make sense? Having said all of that, I don't claim to be perfect in this. I'm still learning a lot of this as I go. As Christians we tend to make idols out of a lot of things and people and I'm consistently praying that as we go along this journey that we keep Him at the center, that we look to Him for guidance. God does, in fact, have a plan. Most of the time it never aligns with the plans we have for ourselves, but when His plan finally comes to fruition...it all makes sense! Trust Him. And trust yourself too.
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| And don't forget to HAVE FUN too!!!! :) |
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