Loss: One year later
It was around this time last year that I was confronted with the news that I was to be laid off from my position at Grow Appalachia. Berea College, my dream place to work, gone. Just like that.
After nearly three months of the difficult, sometimes lonely, always taking-it-one-day-at-a-time job search process, I landed a position at EKU, somewhere I'd spent many years applying for jobs but honestly never giving it the time of day. I received the phone call for the job offer the day before I was set to leave on a 10-day mission trip to the Dominican Republic.
I was elated! This was the job that I'd been praying for and the job that I could see myself settling in for a while, moving up, gaining new skills, and growing as a young professional still trying to find her career niche.
That was August of last year.
Fast forward to April 11, 2018, two days after my 28th birthday. I received a meeting request. "Personnel" was all it hinted at, and it involved the two deans and an HR specialist...and myself. My heart sank. Not again...
Nine months after starting my EKU journey, I learned that I would be facing yet another layoff; due to the budget cuts at the University, my position would cease to exist after May 15, 2018.
Two layoffs in a year.
Through tears, I thanked the deans for the opportunity to represent EKU well, and that I was grateful for the time I had there. And then I left. 2:00 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, and my work day was over. I went home. I contemplated having to put myself back out there again. I cycled emotionally, feeling somewhat okay one minute and bursting into tears the next. I felt the weight of the manila envelope that had been handed to me: a "neutral" recommendation letter stating it wasn't my fault that I'd lost my job. A prepared statement. A waiver and release for an involuntary severance package. A flyer advertising counseling services for faculty and staff impacted by the budget cuts, 96 of us total. I talked with my husband. We went on a long walk. He said we would be okay, that God had a plan. I only told him that day. April 11th was a hard day.
I'm not sure when, but day by day, I felt the sadness lift. I felt more at peace. I actually did feel confident that we would be okay, because I'd been through this before and I'd come out the other side. I had support from my husband and an army of family and friends praying for me. I have applied for a few jobs and I'm staying optimistic.
April 20th. I receive word from my dad that my grandpa, our beloved "Pooie", had passed unexpectedly but peacefully the night before. He was 93. On May 16th of this year he and my grandmother would have celebrated 67 years of marriage. 11:00am on a Friday, and my work day was over. I kept it together enough to tell my co-worker that I was leaving for the day. I called my sister. I remember going to the post office to mail in my passport renewal application, but it was a blur. I don't remember the conversation with the woman at the desk. I went home. I prayed. I wrote in my journal for a long while. I hugged my husband when he came home from lunch and we sat together as I cried a few more silent tears. I texted my parents to see if they were ok, and to let them know we were ready to come up that evening to visit. I texted my sister throughout the day to make sure she was ok, too. My parents said the following weekend would be better. April 20th was a hard day.
Today, it's April 25th. The sadness still lingers but for the most part I feel at peace. My parents are doing ok in spite of the circumstances. Justin and I will visit them this weekend. Honestly, I've barely thought about jobs but still continue to look. I received some news about grad school that I'm choosing to take as good news. And, finally, the big silver lining in the middle of what's probably been the most difficult two weeks of my life, is that Justin and I take off for our first trip to Australia on May 19th. Two weeks with his family. Excited doesn't even begin to cover it.
God is on the throne, and somehow He knew that I would lose a job and a family member in the same season. His plans are higher, and He will love me through this. He will love my family through this. He will open another door for me in His perfect timing. I may never understand why things had to happen this way on this side of heaven. Every day is new, and every day I have to choose to trust Him, even when the weight of my circumstances threaten to swallow me up in overwhelming darkness. Every day, God is still there.
To those who have offered prayers and condolences, thank you. To those who have said they would keep their eyes and ears open for jobs for me, thank you. To those who are praying for my family and I, thank you.
Loss is hard, but I am hopeful. God doesn't promise immunity from suffering on this earth, but He does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. I hold tightly to that promise as I wait for this next season of my life to come to fruition.
After nearly three months of the difficult, sometimes lonely, always taking-it-one-day-at-a-time job search process, I landed a position at EKU, somewhere I'd spent many years applying for jobs but honestly never giving it the time of day. I received the phone call for the job offer the day before I was set to leave on a 10-day mission trip to the Dominican Republic.
I was elated! This was the job that I'd been praying for and the job that I could see myself settling in for a while, moving up, gaining new skills, and growing as a young professional still trying to find her career niche.
That was August of last year.
Fast forward to April 11, 2018, two days after my 28th birthday. I received a meeting request. "Personnel" was all it hinted at, and it involved the two deans and an HR specialist...and myself. My heart sank. Not again...
Nine months after starting my EKU journey, I learned that I would be facing yet another layoff; due to the budget cuts at the University, my position would cease to exist after May 15, 2018.
Two layoffs in a year.
Through tears, I thanked the deans for the opportunity to represent EKU well, and that I was grateful for the time I had there. And then I left. 2:00 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, and my work day was over. I went home. I contemplated having to put myself back out there again. I cycled emotionally, feeling somewhat okay one minute and bursting into tears the next. I felt the weight of the manila envelope that had been handed to me: a "neutral" recommendation letter stating it wasn't my fault that I'd lost my job. A prepared statement. A waiver and release for an involuntary severance package. A flyer advertising counseling services for faculty and staff impacted by the budget cuts, 96 of us total. I talked with my husband. We went on a long walk. He said we would be okay, that God had a plan. I only told him that day. April 11th was a hard day.
I'm not sure when, but day by day, I felt the sadness lift. I felt more at peace. I actually did feel confident that we would be okay, because I'd been through this before and I'd come out the other side. I had support from my husband and an army of family and friends praying for me. I have applied for a few jobs and I'm staying optimistic.
April 20th. I receive word from my dad that my grandpa, our beloved "Pooie", had passed unexpectedly but peacefully the night before. He was 93. On May 16th of this year he and my grandmother would have celebrated 67 years of marriage. 11:00am on a Friday, and my work day was over. I kept it together enough to tell my co-worker that I was leaving for the day. I called my sister. I remember going to the post office to mail in my passport renewal application, but it was a blur. I don't remember the conversation with the woman at the desk. I went home. I prayed. I wrote in my journal for a long while. I hugged my husband when he came home from lunch and we sat together as I cried a few more silent tears. I texted my parents to see if they were ok, and to let them know we were ready to come up that evening to visit. I texted my sister throughout the day to make sure she was ok, too. My parents said the following weekend would be better. April 20th was a hard day.
Today, it's April 25th. The sadness still lingers but for the most part I feel at peace. My parents are doing ok in spite of the circumstances. Justin and I will visit them this weekend. Honestly, I've barely thought about jobs but still continue to look. I received some news about grad school that I'm choosing to take as good news. And, finally, the big silver lining in the middle of what's probably been the most difficult two weeks of my life, is that Justin and I take off for our first trip to Australia on May 19th. Two weeks with his family. Excited doesn't even begin to cover it.
God is on the throne, and somehow He knew that I would lose a job and a family member in the same season. His plans are higher, and He will love me through this. He will love my family through this. He will open another door for me in His perfect timing. I may never understand why things had to happen this way on this side of heaven. Every day is new, and every day I have to choose to trust Him, even when the weight of my circumstances threaten to swallow me up in overwhelming darkness. Every day, God is still there.
To those who have offered prayers and condolences, thank you. To those who have said they would keep their eyes and ears open for jobs for me, thank you. To those who are praying for my family and I, thank you.
Loss is hard, but I am hopeful. God doesn't promise immunity from suffering on this earth, but He does promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. I hold tightly to that promise as I wait for this next season of my life to come to fruition.
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