When trying to make the grade doesn't feel like making the grade
This is a little bit of stream of consciousness going on here, so I apologize if there's no real "flow" to any of what I'm saying...
Real talk: I graduated from high school almost 11 years ago in the top 10 of my class. School just came naturally to me. Aside from one C in physics, I was mostly a straight-A student. I was so pumped when I got accepted to Berea College and I imagined that college, academically speaking, wouldn't be all that different from high school.
I graduated four years later from Berea with a 2.9 (ish) GPA. I had a tough major- Biology- so that probably helped contribute. But deep down, I knew that I was a good student. I genuinely believed that I was a good student. I studied for tests, I did my homework and actually put in some effort, I did my best to participate in class. In short, I tried my best, did my best to do my best, and actually gave a crap about my education.
But I got SO TIRED. So. Tired. I got so tired of getting C's. It seemed that no matter how hard or long I studied, I just got C's. I aced every other component of the classes I took, except exams, which of course are generally the majority of one's grade. I failed my first exam in college and it was like a knife to the gut. Constantly getting C's was, at times, very discouraging. It was discouraging because this didn't feel like me, the me from high school. It was discouraging because I had goals for myself and despite my best efforts and all I knew to do, I wasn't meeting them. One of my goals was to do well in college, and C's to me weren't "well". C's were average and mediocre. Now that's not to say that I never got A's or B's, I definitely did. But there are a lot of C's in my transcript.
Now, let me pause here for a second: Disclaimer #1: Please do not get me wrong. I am so proud of myself for graduating from Berea College. That is a feat, a huge accomplishment, and I thank God for the education I received. But it was honestly hard at times to reconcile the effort I *thought* I was putting in with the grades I was receiving. Disclaimer #2: I am in NO way, shape, size, or form blaming my professors for the grades I received. I alone take responsibility for that. I am just sharing my own experiences and the struggles I had with feelings of discouragement. This is not their fault.
To further add on to that, when I really stop and think about it, I realize I probably could have reached out for help more, and I definitely could have laid off the sleeping in and TV watching on weekends a little more. So there's that. Again, only myself to blame here :) Anyway, the struggle was real, and it was discouraging at times.
So now.....Fast forward 6.5 years later. 2019. I'm in a Masters program now and taking two classes, a much more manageable load compared to an undergrad (Seriously....it's kind of the best!). I just wrote a paper for one class and it was graded over the weekend. I got an A. I'm not trying to brag but do you know how awesome that feels? It finally feels like that the effort- maybe it's a bit better of an effort because I don't have 20 million things going on, but effort nonetheless- it feels like what I'm putting in is paying off. It's so encouraging!
Maybe the struggles I went through in college have equipped me to "be" a better Masters student at this time in my life...who knows? Maybe God knew where I would end up, and had me go through the struggles because He knew I'd be able to "hack it" in graduate school. Who knows? He does. And ALL of what I've rambled on about has led me to this: I'm really glad I didn't give up when it got hard and discouraging. I'm really glad I had friends around me who told me that it wasn't in fact the end of the world when my mid-term grades royally sucked one semester. I'm really glad I stuck with my studies and kept doing the best I could. I'm really glad God led me to a church that became like family in a very short amount of time, really kind and genuine people who cheered me on in the struggles. And today, I'm really glad God opened this door for me to get my Masters degree, hopefully paving the way for a career that I will be able to glorify Him with, a career that will allow me to help students like so many helped me when I was a a student.
And Disclaimer #3: I know that GPAs don't amount to jack squat in the long run, really. But just let me get this off my chest and say that getting an A feels awesome!
Real talk: I graduated from high school almost 11 years ago in the top 10 of my class. School just came naturally to me. Aside from one C in physics, I was mostly a straight-A student. I was so pumped when I got accepted to Berea College and I imagined that college, academically speaking, wouldn't be all that different from high school.
I graduated four years later from Berea with a 2.9 (ish) GPA. I had a tough major- Biology- so that probably helped contribute. But deep down, I knew that I was a good student. I genuinely believed that I was a good student. I studied for tests, I did my homework and actually put in some effort, I did my best to participate in class. In short, I tried my best, did my best to do my best, and actually gave a crap about my education.
But I got SO TIRED. So. Tired. I got so tired of getting C's. It seemed that no matter how hard or long I studied, I just got C's. I aced every other component of the classes I took, except exams, which of course are generally the majority of one's grade. I failed my first exam in college and it was like a knife to the gut. Constantly getting C's was, at times, very discouraging. It was discouraging because this didn't feel like me, the me from high school. It was discouraging because I had goals for myself and despite my best efforts and all I knew to do, I wasn't meeting them. One of my goals was to do well in college, and C's to me weren't "well". C's were average and mediocre. Now that's not to say that I never got A's or B's, I definitely did. But there are a lot of C's in my transcript.
Now, let me pause here for a second: Disclaimer #1: Please do not get me wrong. I am so proud of myself for graduating from Berea College. That is a feat, a huge accomplishment, and I thank God for the education I received. But it was honestly hard at times to reconcile the effort I *thought* I was putting in with the grades I was receiving. Disclaimer #2: I am in NO way, shape, size, or form blaming my professors for the grades I received. I alone take responsibility for that. I am just sharing my own experiences and the struggles I had with feelings of discouragement. This is not their fault.
To further add on to that, when I really stop and think about it, I realize I probably could have reached out for help more, and I definitely could have laid off the sleeping in and TV watching on weekends a little more. So there's that. Again, only myself to blame here :) Anyway, the struggle was real, and it was discouraging at times.
So now.....Fast forward 6.5 years later. 2019. I'm in a Masters program now and taking two classes, a much more manageable load compared to an undergrad (Seriously....it's kind of the best!). I just wrote a paper for one class and it was graded over the weekend. I got an A. I'm not trying to brag but do you know how awesome that feels? It finally feels like that the effort- maybe it's a bit better of an effort because I don't have 20 million things going on, but effort nonetheless- it feels like what I'm putting in is paying off. It's so encouraging!
Maybe the struggles I went through in college have equipped me to "be" a better Masters student at this time in my life...who knows? Maybe God knew where I would end up, and had me go through the struggles because He knew I'd be able to "hack it" in graduate school. Who knows? He does. And ALL of what I've rambled on about has led me to this: I'm really glad I didn't give up when it got hard and discouraging. I'm really glad I had friends around me who told me that it wasn't in fact the end of the world when my mid-term grades royally sucked one semester. I'm really glad I stuck with my studies and kept doing the best I could. I'm really glad God led me to a church that became like family in a very short amount of time, really kind and genuine people who cheered me on in the struggles. And today, I'm really glad God opened this door for me to get my Masters degree, hopefully paving the way for a career that I will be able to glorify Him with, a career that will allow me to help students like so many helped me when I was a a student.
And Disclaimer #3: I know that GPAs don't amount to jack squat in the long run, really. But just let me get this off my chest and say that getting an A feels awesome!
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