Letting go and just...letting
I am very inspired of some events that took place today, so bear with me as I try to share my thoughts.
Earlier this afternoon I sat in on a meeting with my superiors and a former coordinator from a very prominent partner site of ours- we were offering her a position, of sorts. I'll keep a set of long stories short and say that this coordinator has stepped down from her site and is moving on to other endeavors in her life. According to her, it was a difficult decision, mostly because of the relationships she has cultivated over the last three years. What I appreciated about her most, aside from her honesty and her strong faith in God (she is a member of a monastic community), is her ability to relate to people. She mentioned how folks from different generations are sort of defined: she said those in her generation accumulate things and objects so as to prove a point of "Hey, look, look where I came from, and I have all of this, I made it, I accomplished something." On the flip side, she mentioned those in my generation, who instead of accumulating things, per se, we accumulate experiences, we try different jobs and positions, to see what we like and what we're interested in. Right as she said that, I was floored, not just at the sheer simplicity of the statement, but the TRUTH behind it. I felt an invisible nudge on my shoulder. That's ME!
In all honesty, hearing her say these things, hearing her say "You know, I just have to trust God, and start letting go"- that's ME! I will admit it, I don't have my life figured out down to a science. I don't. I've worked four jobs in two years, and with each one, I've learned what I don't want to do with my life. But you know what? It's ok. I keep having to tell myself that often, and I do believe it (although some days, it's easier than others). I have an amazing support system within this organization, and let me tell you.....boy, it helps. It does. I can come home and breathe a sigh of relief, because I am able to do my work during the day and when I come home, it's done. There is no more work. I can take time to reflect on the day and where I am, where I've come from- very much like what I'm doing now.
I guess the point of all of this is that as I continue down this VISTA path, yeah, there is a bit of a question mark at the end of the horizon. Come September 2015 when my year is up, there is an element of unknown there. But I'm choosing not to dwell on that right now. I'm choosing to simply let: let each day go on and progress, let my mind expand and learn new things, let myself be supported by some of the most caring, patient, and big-hearted folks I've ever had the pleasure of working with (and for). I feel such a connection with this place, and I'll let myself anchor in that as well. We all laugh together, we all goof around together, but we all work well together too- truly the best of both worlds. I got a phone call earlier today from our VISTA leader, just to say thank you for everything and that he appreciates me and what I do. What? Do people actually do that? Ok, getting back on track now...There will be good days, and there will be some tough days, this I am certain of. God has brought me here, for such a time as this, and I am continually amazed at just how much I'm enjoying this work. In short, I am blessed, and this I am also certain of. After that...not too much certainty. But regardless of where I end up, I will carry these certainties and these relationships with me, into something that only God can create.
Should any of my Grow Appalachians happen to read this, thank you. It's only been a month (ish), and I have many more to go, but thank you. Thank you for making me want to not just do better, but be better. Thank you for making me actually want to wake up for work most days (jury's still out for Mondays though...), which is something I haven't experienced in a long, LONG time! Thank you for allowing me to be a part of something that's doing some pretty incredible things.
Here's to letting!
Earlier this afternoon I sat in on a meeting with my superiors and a former coordinator from a very prominent partner site of ours- we were offering her a position, of sorts. I'll keep a set of long stories short and say that this coordinator has stepped down from her site and is moving on to other endeavors in her life. According to her, it was a difficult decision, mostly because of the relationships she has cultivated over the last three years. What I appreciated about her most, aside from her honesty and her strong faith in God (she is a member of a monastic community), is her ability to relate to people. She mentioned how folks from different generations are sort of defined: she said those in her generation accumulate things and objects so as to prove a point of "Hey, look, look where I came from, and I have all of this, I made it, I accomplished something." On the flip side, she mentioned those in my generation, who instead of accumulating things, per se, we accumulate experiences, we try different jobs and positions, to see what we like and what we're interested in. Right as she said that, I was floored, not just at the sheer simplicity of the statement, but the TRUTH behind it. I felt an invisible nudge on my shoulder. That's ME!
In all honesty, hearing her say these things, hearing her say "You know, I just have to trust God, and start letting go"- that's ME! I will admit it, I don't have my life figured out down to a science. I don't. I've worked four jobs in two years, and with each one, I've learned what I don't want to do with my life. But you know what? It's ok. I keep having to tell myself that often, and I do believe it (although some days, it's easier than others). I have an amazing support system within this organization, and let me tell you.....boy, it helps. It does. I can come home and breathe a sigh of relief, because I am able to do my work during the day and when I come home, it's done. There is no more work. I can take time to reflect on the day and where I am, where I've come from- very much like what I'm doing now.
I guess the point of all of this is that as I continue down this VISTA path, yeah, there is a bit of a question mark at the end of the horizon. Come September 2015 when my year is up, there is an element of unknown there. But I'm choosing not to dwell on that right now. I'm choosing to simply let: let each day go on and progress, let my mind expand and learn new things, let myself be supported by some of the most caring, patient, and big-hearted folks I've ever had the pleasure of working with (and for). I feel such a connection with this place, and I'll let myself anchor in that as well. We all laugh together, we all goof around together, but we all work well together too- truly the best of both worlds. I got a phone call earlier today from our VISTA leader, just to say thank you for everything and that he appreciates me and what I do. What? Do people actually do that? Ok, getting back on track now...There will be good days, and there will be some tough days, this I am certain of. God has brought me here, for such a time as this, and I am continually amazed at just how much I'm enjoying this work. In short, I am blessed, and this I am also certain of. After that...not too much certainty. But regardless of where I end up, I will carry these certainties and these relationships with me, into something that only God can create.
Should any of my Grow Appalachians happen to read this, thank you. It's only been a month (ish), and I have many more to go, but thank you. Thank you for making me want to not just do better, but be better. Thank you for making me actually want to wake up for work most days (jury's still out for Mondays though...), which is something I haven't experienced in a long, LONG time! Thank you for allowing me to be a part of something that's doing some pretty incredible things.
Here's to letting!
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