For the love of love and ALEP: A two part update
Oh! Hello there, friends! I have no idea how the months of August and September got away from me, but it's October. Oy vey!
I have two "posts", if you will, as in two topics within a big(ish) post, so I apologize for the potential stream of consciousness. But these two things are near and dear to my heart and I'd be remiss if I didn't share them here in this space, in the hopes that maybe some encouragement, cheer, hope, and or a smile will occur.
Part 1: Love
As my husband-to-be kindly pointed out to me this morning, we are 10 weeks away from the big day. Let me say that again: 10. WEEKS. AWAY. FROM THE BIG DAY.
May 12 seems like a blur, and in that time we've dived headfirst into picking a photographer, finding the perfect tux/color combinations, sampling some delicious cake, buying out stocks of Christmas picks from Hobby Lobby and Michael's, researching flight after flight/airport combination for the honeymoon (when in the world did flying get so expensive???), many trips on my part to David's Bridal first for my dress and then for bridesmaid's dresses, some periods of sickness, a mission trip, and some amazing and encouraging and challenging pre-marital counseling.
All of this to say, we've had an absolute blast. No, really. As daunting at times as all the decisions can be, planning not just our wedding but the start of our life together has been a hallmark experience of our entire relationship. God has really melded us into a good team during this time.
What I've been reflecting on the most most recently, especially within the last few days as I've been away (more on that to come later), is love. Friends, in all of my years I in my wildest dreams never thought it was possible to love another human being as much as I love my fiance. I won't go on and on, but he's pretty wonderful and I'm thankful God is entrusting him to me.
But...real talk, y'all: Love. Is. Hard.
I'm not talking about the "happily ever after", fairy tale love that's often portrayed in modern media, although it certainly conjures up some nice warm thoughts and fuzzy feelings. I'm talking about self-sacrificial, humbling, agape love. Modern media probably shies away from portraying this kind of love because, sometimes, it's downright not pretty.
It's a lot of saying "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me" and, in doing that, it is living out the 1 Corinthians 13 verse "Love keeps no record of wrongs". It is offering up your entire heart and soul to another human, knowing that they carry the capacity to nurture and tend to that heart and then in the same day, often unintentionally, break it and shatter it to a million pieces. And despite that, you go back to that other human every single time. No, you do not give the silent treatment or blow up or lash out or walk out. EVER. Because you made a promise "for better AND for worse", and you talk through the hard things and hold their hand as they share their struggles and you pray every single day for your relationship. It is listening, not downplaying or belittling their feelings/struggles, or being patronizing, but opening your ears and closing your mouth and being that safe place for your partner. It is a daily series of choices, thoughts, and actions that say yes to the other and no to self because agape love is not conditional on feelings or emotions of self. It is asking, sometimes begging, God to help keep your pride in check. It is unconditional acceptance, that is, "I have seen you at your worst and will see you at your worst, I know your flaws and your weaknesses, and yet I am welcoming you into myself with arms open, with no intention whatsoever except to love you just as you are." It is learning, not just about the person but learning the person. It is a lot of messing up, fessing up, showing up, growing up, and owning up to the fact that you are, in fact, not always right. It is, never once, considering the "D" word and always operating under God's amazing provision that we can AND WILL make it together! Wrapped up in all of that, for me, is a lot of thanking God for this beautiful soul that He has given to me. Immensely thankful and blessed doesn't even come close. God has taught me and shown me so much through how Justin has loved me and this journey of life and marriage is a big, beautiful gift that must be unwrapped slowly, with grace, and with Him at the center.
Because of that, if we are to be a couple that reflects the unconditional and grace-filled gospel of Jesus Christ, it is imperative that I, as a wife to be, do my best seek His face at all times. I cannot and will not take the vows that I will make to him on December 16th lightly. Period. It is not optional for me to not pray, and if you are reading this and are a believer, I just ask that you pray for us as we transition out of engagement and into early marriage. The Devil is scheming, sneaky, slick, and subtle, and he will not hesitate to do whatever he can to distract, disarm, and discourage us.
It is messy, it is humbling, it is a journey. But it is ordained by God, it is a high honor we are both willing to take up, and it is so very worth it.
Part 2: ALEP
ALEP: (noun) A Tolkien-themed non-convention that most will say is more like a family reunion. Short for A Long Expected Party. Occurs in the Shaker Village every three years.
Kelly and I attended our first ALEP in 2014, only for a day because money, and we were immediately taken to a new world, almost: A world of people from all walks of life with similar interests (e.g. Tolkien) who were content to sit around and chat merrily, play music, laugh, drink, and eat together, and who genuinely enjoyed each other's company and who were not shy in making newcomers feel nothing less than welcomed. Simply put, we had a blast!
So when 4LEP rolled around, that is, this year, we knew fairly early on (I'm talking a year-18 months ago, folks) that we just had to do the entire week! I'm so glad we did! This year has been intense, exciting, challenging, and everything in between and it was so fitting for this event to take place this year when it did. We reconnected with old friends, many we had not seen for three years, and met many amazing new friends as always. For me, it was a break, one I didn't really think I needed until I got there.
During my quiet time Thursday morning, I was reading Matthew 11. I got to the last few verses:
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest..."
As I looked up I saw a little bird land on our windowsill! I then felt compelled to pray, so I did, silently, releasing all that was in my heart to God. The bird stayed for a few more seconds and then it flew away. I can't describe the peace that I felt afterwards, but it was coupled with a stirring in my heart that it was good for me to be there.
I felt God's presence among the people and the place, and I came back yesterday feeling refreshed. It was hard to get up this morning. There were so many wonderful memories and stories, too many to name and not enough space. It's remarkable that everyone who travels from all corners of the US and then some (Hullo you lovely Canadians who bravely make the trek every three years!) comes together in this way. I'm willing to wager that there is nothing else like this on earth. Or at least the contiguous US. It's a unique and special time that leaves everyone who attends feeling better and more renewed than when they arrived. There are no worries, no hurtful or painful things, only the sounds of nature and laughter and the warmth of good company.
If you want to check out my pictures, look here --> ALEP PICS
Out of the good few I took, the pic below is my favorite. And although nothing has been set in stone yet, whisperings of 2020 is definitely a possibility. "Oh crap!" says our fearless leader Tim.
Until next time...
I have two "posts", if you will, as in two topics within a big(ish) post, so I apologize for the potential stream of consciousness. But these two things are near and dear to my heart and I'd be remiss if I didn't share them here in this space, in the hopes that maybe some encouragement, cheer, hope, and or a smile will occur.
Part 1: Love
As my husband-to-be kindly pointed out to me this morning, we are 10 weeks away from the big day. Let me say that again: 10. WEEKS. AWAY. FROM THE BIG DAY.
May 12 seems like a blur, and in that time we've dived headfirst into picking a photographer, finding the perfect tux/color combinations, sampling some delicious cake, buying out stocks of Christmas picks from Hobby Lobby and Michael's, researching flight after flight/airport combination for the honeymoon (when in the world did flying get so expensive???), many trips on my part to David's Bridal first for my dress and then for bridesmaid's dresses, some periods of sickness, a mission trip, and some amazing and encouraging and challenging pre-marital counseling.
All of this to say, we've had an absolute blast. No, really. As daunting at times as all the decisions can be, planning not just our wedding but the start of our life together has been a hallmark experience of our entire relationship. God has really melded us into a good team during this time.
What I've been reflecting on the most most recently, especially within the last few days as I've been away (more on that to come later), is love. Friends, in all of my years I in my wildest dreams never thought it was possible to love another human being as much as I love my fiance. I won't go on and on, but he's pretty wonderful and I'm thankful God is entrusting him to me.
But...real talk, y'all: Love. Is. Hard.
I'm not talking about the "happily ever after", fairy tale love that's often portrayed in modern media, although it certainly conjures up some nice warm thoughts and fuzzy feelings. I'm talking about self-sacrificial, humbling, agape love. Modern media probably shies away from portraying this kind of love because, sometimes, it's downright not pretty.
It's a lot of saying "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me" and, in doing that, it is living out the 1 Corinthians 13 verse "Love keeps no record of wrongs". It is offering up your entire heart and soul to another human, knowing that they carry the capacity to nurture and tend to that heart and then in the same day, often unintentionally, break it and shatter it to a million pieces. And despite that, you go back to that other human every single time. No, you do not give the silent treatment or blow up or lash out or walk out. EVER. Because you made a promise "for better AND for worse", and you talk through the hard things and hold their hand as they share their struggles and you pray every single day for your relationship. It is listening, not downplaying or belittling their feelings/struggles, or being patronizing, but opening your ears and closing your mouth and being that safe place for your partner. It is a daily series of choices, thoughts, and actions that say yes to the other and no to self because agape love is not conditional on feelings or emotions of self. It is asking, sometimes begging, God to help keep your pride in check. It is unconditional acceptance, that is, "I have seen you at your worst and will see you at your worst, I know your flaws and your weaknesses, and yet I am welcoming you into myself with arms open, with no intention whatsoever except to love you just as you are." It is learning, not just about the person but learning the person. It is a lot of messing up, fessing up, showing up, growing up, and owning up to the fact that you are, in fact, not always right. It is, never once, considering the "D" word and always operating under God's amazing provision that we can AND WILL make it together! Wrapped up in all of that, for me, is a lot of thanking God for this beautiful soul that He has given to me. Immensely thankful and blessed doesn't even come close. God has taught me and shown me so much through how Justin has loved me and this journey of life and marriage is a big, beautiful gift that must be unwrapped slowly, with grace, and with Him at the center.
Because of that, if we are to be a couple that reflects the unconditional and grace-filled gospel of Jesus Christ, it is imperative that I, as a wife to be, do my best seek His face at all times. I cannot and will not take the vows that I will make to him on December 16th lightly. Period. It is not optional for me to not pray, and if you are reading this and are a believer, I just ask that you pray for us as we transition out of engagement and into early marriage. The Devil is scheming, sneaky, slick, and subtle, and he will not hesitate to do whatever he can to distract, disarm, and discourage us.
It is messy, it is humbling, it is a journey. But it is ordained by God, it is a high honor we are both willing to take up, and it is so very worth it.
Part 2: ALEP
ALEP: (noun) A Tolkien-themed non-convention that most will say is more like a family reunion. Short for A Long Expected Party. Occurs in the Shaker Village every three years.
Kelly and I attended our first ALEP in 2014, only for a day because money, and we were immediately taken to a new world, almost: A world of people from all walks of life with similar interests (e.g. Tolkien) who were content to sit around and chat merrily, play music, laugh, drink, and eat together, and who genuinely enjoyed each other's company and who were not shy in making newcomers feel nothing less than welcomed. Simply put, we had a blast!
So when 4LEP rolled around, that is, this year, we knew fairly early on (I'm talking a year-18 months ago, folks) that we just had to do the entire week! I'm so glad we did! This year has been intense, exciting, challenging, and everything in between and it was so fitting for this event to take place this year when it did. We reconnected with old friends, many we had not seen for three years, and met many amazing new friends as always. For me, it was a break, one I didn't really think I needed until I got there.
During my quiet time Thursday morning, I was reading Matthew 11. I got to the last few verses:
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest..."
As I looked up I saw a little bird land on our windowsill! I then felt compelled to pray, so I did, silently, releasing all that was in my heart to God. The bird stayed for a few more seconds and then it flew away. I can't describe the peace that I felt afterwards, but it was coupled with a stirring in my heart that it was good for me to be there.
I felt God's presence among the people and the place, and I came back yesterday feeling refreshed. It was hard to get up this morning. There were so many wonderful memories and stories, too many to name and not enough space. It's remarkable that everyone who travels from all corners of the US and then some (Hullo you lovely Canadians who bravely make the trek every three years!) comes together in this way. I'm willing to wager that there is nothing else like this on earth. Or at least the contiguous US. It's a unique and special time that leaves everyone who attends feeling better and more renewed than when they arrived. There are no worries, no hurtful or painful things, only the sounds of nature and laughter and the warmth of good company.
If you want to check out my pictures, look here --> ALEP PICS
Out of the good few I took, the pic below is my favorite. And although nothing has been set in stone yet, whisperings of 2020 is definitely a possibility. "Oh crap!" says our fearless leader Tim.
Until next time...
 |
| This place is the epitome of peace. |
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