Dear Friends, Can it wait?
Dear Friends,
Let me start by saying that what I'm about to say is in no way being critical, judgmental, or harsh. I will touch on it later but how you choose to spend your time is just that: your time. What I'm sharing is simple observations, patterns, and how I as a young woman am going to try to make changes where I need to instead of chastising others. It's an invitation, if you choose, to join me in those changes in your own life as well. I hope that my point comes across in that way, and I don't intend upon offending or stepping on any toes. I realize that I am only seeing a small glimpse of lives, and I don't know the whole story. But this is just what I see.
Ok. Here we go.
Dear Friends,
I love seeing little glimpses of your lives on social media. Your pictures of your growing children, your home in the making, all those other little moments that make life sweet. Honestly, the main reason I still have Facebook is so that I am able to keep in touch with my friends and family that are far away.
But I'm a little torn as I say this, because I also notice on my timelines postings, likes, comments, and all of these, sometimes when people are on dates and on vacations. I know it's not always like that, and again, I recognize that I am only seeing a small glimpse, so please forgive me. But I honestly can't help but ask why? Can your post wait until after the fact? Can the phones stay away until after dinner is over?
As a wife to be, it's honestly a little discouraging to go out and see couples completely glued to their phones. It's honestly a little discouraging to see the frequency of posts I see during a time that is supposed to bring people together (dates and vacations?) Isn't the person sitting across from you or next to you more important than the next selfie, the next tweet, the next comment, the next memory share?
Ok. Let me take a breath. Please, please, please do not misunderstand me! Please take pictures! Please share your memories! Please let us know of all of the wonderful things going on in your life! My question is really simple: Can it wait?
To me, the answer is yes. But friends, I struggle with this too. Our devices carry a deep sense of both urgency and gratification. As a pastor joked recently in a sermon, "It's not real life until it's posted on Facebook!" Is that true?
I am trying to operate under the impression that life- real life- is so much better than a 4 inch screen. When I go out with Justin or my friends, my phone is away. I've been there: Kelly and I had lunch with a friend a few years ago. She, our best friend at the time for the last nearly 10 years, was on her phone most of the time. What sort of impression does that leave? It made us feel pretty lousy.
Friends, if you think you really struggle with this, or if you have been approached by someone due to your screen time usage, I would gently encourage you to take a hard look at your activity. Honestly assess how much screen time you take part in. Be honest with yourself. Also look at behaviors and patterns that drive you to your screen: Is it more than just boredom, or are there any bigger underlying issues that haven't been dealt with? Something like an escape? If so, please talk to someone. Don't hide behind social media. Don't hide behind a phone.
If you're seeing someone or married, talk with your partner about screen time. Set boundaries and stick to them. Make decisions- together!- about what's acceptable and what's not. Have multiple of these conversations over the years if you have to. It is so important to be on the same page! Disclaimer: This is just what has worked for me, so please don't take my word for it.
How we choose to spend our time is a choice. I am honestly not trying to put myself on a pedestal. I am simply trying to fix my attention on things that matter. What that truly looks like is something I'm still trying to figure out. But what I have learned, though, is how worth it relationships and face-to-face time is. So yes, let's keep taking pictures, sharing our memories, and celebrating all of the wonderful things life brings. But let's remember to look up and take notice of all of the wonderful things life brings, too!
Sincerely,
A young woman trying to remember that it can wait, and trying to remember to look up and take notice of all of the wonderful things life brings.
Let me start by saying that what I'm about to say is in no way being critical, judgmental, or harsh. I will touch on it later but how you choose to spend your time is just that: your time. What I'm sharing is simple observations, patterns, and how I as a young woman am going to try to make changes where I need to instead of chastising others. It's an invitation, if you choose, to join me in those changes in your own life as well. I hope that my point comes across in that way, and I don't intend upon offending or stepping on any toes. I realize that I am only seeing a small glimpse of lives, and I don't know the whole story. But this is just what I see.
Ok. Here we go.
Dear Friends,
I love seeing little glimpses of your lives on social media. Your pictures of your growing children, your home in the making, all those other little moments that make life sweet. Honestly, the main reason I still have Facebook is so that I am able to keep in touch with my friends and family that are far away.
But I'm a little torn as I say this, because I also notice on my timelines postings, likes, comments, and all of these, sometimes when people are on dates and on vacations. I know it's not always like that, and again, I recognize that I am only seeing a small glimpse, so please forgive me. But I honestly can't help but ask why? Can your post wait until after the fact? Can the phones stay away until after dinner is over?
As a wife to be, it's honestly a little discouraging to go out and see couples completely glued to their phones. It's honestly a little discouraging to see the frequency of posts I see during a time that is supposed to bring people together (dates and vacations?) Isn't the person sitting across from you or next to you more important than the next selfie, the next tweet, the next comment, the next memory share?
Ok. Let me take a breath. Please, please, please do not misunderstand me! Please take pictures! Please share your memories! Please let us know of all of the wonderful things going on in your life! My question is really simple: Can it wait?
To me, the answer is yes. But friends, I struggle with this too. Our devices carry a deep sense of both urgency and gratification. As a pastor joked recently in a sermon, "It's not real life until it's posted on Facebook!" Is that true?
I am trying to operate under the impression that life- real life- is so much better than a 4 inch screen. When I go out with Justin or my friends, my phone is away. I've been there: Kelly and I had lunch with a friend a few years ago. She, our best friend at the time for the last nearly 10 years, was on her phone most of the time. What sort of impression does that leave? It made us feel pretty lousy.
Friends, if you think you really struggle with this, or if you have been approached by someone due to your screen time usage, I would gently encourage you to take a hard look at your activity. Honestly assess how much screen time you take part in. Be honest with yourself. Also look at behaviors and patterns that drive you to your screen: Is it more than just boredom, or are there any bigger underlying issues that haven't been dealt with? Something like an escape? If so, please talk to someone. Don't hide behind social media. Don't hide behind a phone.
If you're seeing someone or married, talk with your partner about screen time. Set boundaries and stick to them. Make decisions- together!- about what's acceptable and what's not. Have multiple of these conversations over the years if you have to. It is so important to be on the same page! Disclaimer: This is just what has worked for me, so please don't take my word for it.
How we choose to spend our time is a choice. I am honestly not trying to put myself on a pedestal. I am simply trying to fix my attention on things that matter. What that truly looks like is something I'm still trying to figure out. But what I have learned, though, is how worth it relationships and face-to-face time is. So yes, let's keep taking pictures, sharing our memories, and celebrating all of the wonderful things life brings. But let's remember to look up and take notice of all of the wonderful things life brings, too!
Sincerely,
A young woman trying to remember that it can wait, and trying to remember to look up and take notice of all of the wonderful things life brings.
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