Finding peace in the waiting

It's been nearly four weeks since my last day at Grow Appalachia, and it's amazing how slowly the month of June has gone on. The days all run together in a state of "perpetual weekend" of sorts, and while I get up each day with a few set tasks to accomplish for the day, most days it's just me. Quiet. Most of the time, that's perfectly ok, but sometimes, especially in the last few days, it's been hard.

Y'all, waiting is HARD, just in case you haven't gotten that memo lately. I've almost forgotten how painfully silent this job search process can be. Two weeks ago I had three interviews in one week and I have not had one since. Silent. Days that pass that I don't hear from a job...Silent. 

I've had a few moments, quite a few, of crying out to God in frustration, deep hurt, and questioning. Through that deep hurt I've learned that my value and my worth is NOT found in a job. 

Despite all of this, I do have some peace. 

This morning, as I was reading the Bible, an email came through about a job. I knew almost instantly that I didn't get that job. I'm not sure how I knew, but I just did. Oddly enough, I am taking that as a sign that there is something else. Something better.  My God is faithful and I know that He will provide in His perfect timing and plan. I know this! This morning, I also read First Five for the first time in a few weeks, and it spoke so clearly to my heart: Choosing to stay with God when it's good, when it's hard, and when it's complicated! 

I know that's what I have to do. I have to stay with God, and I have to choose to find peace in the everyday as I wait. 

Lord, thank You. Thank You for Your perfect peace, peace that truly does surpass all understanding. As I wait, I ask that You please continue to strengthen my heart and keep me steadfast. Help me, Lord, to fix my gaze on You and on things that are eternal. Thank You that my worth is found in You and not in a job or career. I may feel broken down, ignored, or discouraged, but I am not! In You I can do all things. I am seen, heard, and loved by You. Thank You! Amen.